My Friend Mandy


When I was in 1st grade I wanted a My Friend Mandy doll for Christmas soooo bad. And, I got it (along with strawberry lip gloss and Wonder Woman underoos)!!

I loved this doll. Somewhere along the line I also got the My Friend Jenny doll… because having one “friend” just wasn’t enough for me, I guess. I needed a whole entourage of dolls and stuffed animals.

I don’t have any specific memories of playing with the dolls. I liked the hats that came with them. The one real memory I have is this:

My older step-brother (he was 14 at the time) was a tobacco chewer…

… wait a second… I have to take a little side trip here. What the fuck?? He chewed tobacco at 14??? My son is almost 14, and there is no fucking way I would let him do that. I even remember my parents giving him a big package of Skoal as a present for Easter or Christmas or something. My parents are smokers, so maybe they thought they would be hypocrites if they told him he couldn’t “chew”. Or, they were out of their minds. Probably both.

Anyway… as I was saying, my 14 year old step-brother, Kenny, was a tobacco chewer. One day I was playing happily outside with my dolls, and he came up to me and showed me his pack of Skoal. I didn’t know what it was. He told me it was cake. It smelled funny, and I didn’t want to taste the cake. He told me I had to taste it or he would cut My Friend Mandy’s head off.

I’m pretty sure I had a taste. I don’t remember getting sick or anything, though.

My Friend Mandy was not beheaded.


4 Responses to “My Friend Mandy”

  1. 1 dirty

    Wow…teenagers are so mean. I fear for my sanity and my life the day I have to live with teenagers…

  2. 2 Sans

    Well you came and you made me chew without chopping
    but I like your head where it is, oh Mandy
    well you glossed me and the underoos stopped me from shaking
    but I need you today, oh Mandy

  3. 3 Amy

    I lost my sanity long ago… I think I’m ready for my teenagers. They don’t have any little sisters to torture, though.

    Sans- you bring tears to my eyes. I don’t know if it’s because your lyrics are beautiful or what..

  4. 4 dirty

    I’m not so worried about the boys…it’s that damn daughter I have that I worry about. I hope they torture the shit out of her…as payback for what she does to me.

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