Is Jeannie a super-hero?

14Feb07


I remember watching reruns of I Dream of Jeannie as a little girl.

Today I wonder if she is a super-hero? And, in the world of super-herodom, what makes someone a super-hero anyway? Do you have to have a comic book? Do you have to save a life?

Jeannie could save lives, I think. And, really she could probably take on any villian. I mean, all she would have to do is blink… JUST BLINK.

Say she is shopping for Major Nelson or something, and some gun-weilding asshole interrupts a completely lovely day at the market. A hostage situation ensues. Well, first Jeannie would be all ignorant and girly, and wouldn’t even realize what was going on. The bad guy would become all flustered by her, waving his gun and yelling at her to shut up… maybe he would even say “Shut the FUCK up!” which I just don’t know how Jeannie would react to that kind of language, but that’s not really important to my story anyway. Jeannie would then start babbling about something… that broccoli is on sale, and Master loves broccoli, especially this particular recipe… blah blah. She would drive the bad guy crazier than he already obviously is. In his ranting to her he would state his demands while the rest of the hostages looked on in horror, praying to GOD that Jeannie would indeed just shut the fuck up.

Ok, so let’s say that one of his demands is a helicopter… BLINK. Jeannie does her magic and he is up in a helicopter. He probably doesn’t have a pilot and has no idea what he is doing, and it will probably crash and he will meet his doom. On the episode we would see a scene of him sweating and panicking, and there would be a laugh-track, and it would cut away from the scene before he died.

Or maybe somewhere along the line she figured Major Nelson could help out in this situation, so she just blinked him to the hostage scene. That would be typical Jeannie fashion, to get him involved and in trouble. And he’d yell at her, and her feelings would get hurt and she’d just blink herself into her bottle, pouting. I’m not sure why she would end up back at the market, but certainly she would save the day with her blinking.

Blinking and endless ignorant rambling could discombobulate even the most evil super-villians, I’m sure.

*I think Samantha Stevens could be a super-hero too, but she wiggles her nose. It’s cute, but hard to do. I prefer blinking. Oh, and of course the arm fold.

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9 Responses to “Is Jeannie a super-hero?”

  1. 1 Nobody

    I love watching “I Dream of Jeanie”. I want my own Jeanie, that would totally rock.

  2. 2 Dick Small

    “all ignorant and girly” hahahaa! Although I don’t think she’d swear. I mean, it took her years to finally let us see her navel..

  3. 3 Scarlet

    Major Nelson was a DORK!! He could have asked for money or never to work again. But did he? NO!! IDIOT!!

    I dream of having a half dressed woman, blinking me coffee or chocolate… Hey, i’m a new age guy. I’ll do things for her too. Not sure what…

  4. 4 Josh

    Amy–

    Super hero? More like super hot.

  5. 5 Flannery Alden

    Brilliant. Just brilliant. You are absolutely right. She would pull her dumb blonde bit instead of just blinking the guy into jail.

    God, I hated this show. It’s theme song rocked, though.

  6. 6 Valerie

    Not a super hero. A Genie. She didn’t have free will. She was a slave, essentially. *tongue in cheek*

    If this show was on HBO or SHO, it’d turn into some soft porn show, probably. Major Nelson would make his every wish her command.

    I know my husband would watch it. He has a huge crush on her.

    Ever notice how you never saw her belly button? It was considered too racy.

    HA!

  7. 7 Dick Small

    See, Amy, that’s where you and 95% of America are wrong. Samantha Stevens did NOT wiggle her nose. She pursed her lips together and wiggled her upper lip. That’s where the confusion lies.

  8. 8 Amy

    I can’t only wiggle my upper lip. It has to be both. So, she was magic either way.

  9. 9 Dick Small

    It was sad to see Elizabeth Montgomery go from playing a beautiful magical witch to an axe-weilding murderess in the Lizzie Borden Story. I took it pretty hard.


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